Calling Every Body: the Radical Romance of Shrill/This Way Up/Dietland
These funny, sharp TV shows written by women knock fat- and mental illness shaming on its behind, and tell stories of hard-won self-acceptance instead. It's about embracing our deepest desires and the person we are, not who They say we should be. It's about romancing yourself. CW: mentions of body shaming, anti-fat bias, mental illness, and briefly, abortion, weight loss and suicide ideation.
https://www.confessionsofaclosetromantic.com
I paraphrased the gorgeous Mary Oliver poem, The Summer Day.
The National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance fights the discrimination that one third of the world experiences on a daily basis.
TV Shows
Shrill is one of the most joyous TV shows about anti-fat bias and body acceptance that I've ever seen. It's fun but also smart and thoughtful, and much of that is due to the charming performance of Aidy Bryant as Annie. The show is produced by Elizabeth Banks and Lorne Michaels, so funny rules, but always with that trademark light touch and satirical bite.
How do I count the many ways I love This Way Up? From its overall tone to the hilarious writing and often poignant performance of Aisling Bea as Aine, just trying to recover from a nervous breakdown while keeping her sense of humor intact, it's such a funny but insightful journey down the messy road to self acceptance.
Dietland pulls zero punches in its depiction of fat shaming and the difficulty in accepting yourself in a critical, mean and often abusive male-dominated world. Their solution might not be the most realistic, but it's certainly satisfying.
The Bold Type is a glossy modern take on holding onto your self-esteem and self-worth while operating within the Global Female Dissatisfaction Industrial Complex.
Books
In the acerbically funny memoir Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman sticking up for yourself means amusing yourself at the same time. Lindy West covers how to keep your sanity while "coming of age in a culture that demands women be as small, quiet, and compliant as possible -- like a porcelain dove that will also have sex with you."
Dietland is a crazy ride, a feminist subversive fantasy that "guarantees you won't look at a pair of stilettos or a bathroom scale the same way again."
Muffin Top by Avery Flynn is one of the sexiest, most fat-positive romances I've ever read. Marie Lipscomb's Vixens Rock series features gorgeous curvy heroines and big, burly (and hot) heroes.
Calling Every Body: Radical Romancing
CW: this episode contains references to anti-fat bias, fat accptance and activism, brief mention of abortion, suicide
Women have it rough out there, loving themselves with a 24/7 critical audience always ready with their opinions about how we look, how we act, how we fit the stereotype.
I've been watching some TV shows written and produced by some sharp funny women that say screw that. As the poet Mary Oliver said you just get one wild beautiful life — how do you want to spend it? Worrying about the size of your calf muscles? How glossy your hair is?
The themes of the shows are all different but they all have one thing in common: the belief that if women are ever going to identify their true desires and contribute to this the patriarchal world, we need to start by freeing ourselves from outside opinions and criticisms about our minds and our bodies.
It starts by loving and acccepting to love and accept ourselves first. Not that it’s easy.
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These shows are about accepting your lived experience, accepting the body you've been given, and advocating for yourself, even when others don't like it or take you seriously.
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The TV show Shrill is based on the nonfiction book Shrill: Notes from a Loud Woman by Lindy West. It's subtitled: women are funny, it's okay to be fat and feminists don't have to be nice.
The shows stars Aidy Bryant of Saturday Night Live as Annie, a blogger, aspiring journalist and sharp woman who happens to be fat.
(I’m using the word fat because that's she refers to herself on the show). In the beginning of the series, Annie deals with rejection and uninvited commentary on a daily nearly hourly basis and it’s grating.
Her self-esteem takes hit after hit in the first episodes, like her so-called boyfriend loves her between the sheets but makes her go out the back door of his apartment because he ashamed to be seen with her, and not only does she put up with this at first, she doesn't even think to involve him when she gets pregnant because he begs her to not use a condom.
She puts up with it because she realizes that most men are so shallow they wouldn't even think about going to bed with her and she's happy to get his crumbs of affection.
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But the series follows how Annie’s self-awareness and self-esteem grows as she gets to know what she wants without outside voices interfering,
She goes after her professional goals at the alternative newspaper where she works as the calender editor, and starts advocating for herself and others like her. Even if her voice shakes a little. Only at first. Fake it till you make it.
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I have to say at first watching Shrill set off some of my own triggers, but seeing fat people on the show having fun, wearing cute clothes and not hiding their bodies, living their best lives without shame for self-consciousness, swimming, dancing, eating whatever they want with no apologies, advocating for themselves and seeing more than one fat woman at a time on screen who isn't the butt of the joke, is empowering.
In Shrill, the message of body positivity isn't enough —it's full body confidence. Fully occupying your body, and taking up space on this earth, in whatever shape that is.
So I went on the growth arc with Annie over the course of the three seasons: at first I was like woo don't you want a jacket with that strapless dress? or oh for sure I leave my bra on during sex. Eventually it was like hell no, you don't have to cover up for nobody!
Aidy Bryant is just the right combo of cheerful in the face of ridiculous micro aggressions but also emotional and seeing the funny side when it counts.
This Way Up is another empowering TV show with the most endearing and funny main character. It's written and produced by Aisling Bea and Sharon Horgan, who are masters of pathos and comedic timing.
Aisling Bea stars as Aine who at the start of the show is checking out of what is euphemistically called a spa, with the help of her sister Shawna. Everything you need to know about their characters and where this show is going—the basic decency and kindness of Aine despite the challenges, micro aggressions and prejudices she deals with on a daily basis, and Shawna’s well-meaning attempts to protect her from all of that, are right in the first scene.
And I have to say I'm with the ladies-- for god's sake provide a dang Kit Kat. Aine has been through a whole lot.
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Aine teaches English to immigrants in London, and she's so excellent at the job, so smart, thoughtful and funny. Which is her default approach to everything, so of course that means she's usually the person with the most sane and sensible reactions in any given situation— like when she meets a new student’s father.
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Wow her whole world is a tough room to work.
This Way Up is like a sweeter version of Fleabag. I absolutely adore these sisters, how they grow in the story, how they struggle to cope with the messiness of life and relationships and being there for each other, always looking for the funny and ways to be kind.
Dietland is a much darker feminist comedy/revenge fantasy based on the novel the same name. The plot goes to some wild sometimes violent places —well, let’s let them take us to school to set the scene.
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This is the story of Plum Kettle, another smart fat writer who answers the desperate letters to the editor for a New York fashion and lifestyle magazine.
Plum works from home because they're embarrassed to be associated with her, but she doesn't mind because she's hiding from criticism and so called well-meaning advice.
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When the show starts, Plum is saving up for weight loss surgery, but as she dreams of reducing her body size, her writing keeps pushing her out in front.
She's a natural activist and unseen forces introduce her to the feminists in a secretive underground movement (Quite literally in the basement of the fashion magazine).
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Plum starts to realize how strong the societal forces against women's self-acceptance are, so she gets mad and join forces with a group of female guerrilla terrorists who take revenge on powerful abusers and misogynists.
Which is, of course, how she begins to see *herself as powerful and beautiful just as she is.
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The thriller/dark comedy combo is a kind of odd tone, but somehow It works. It’s not as warm and funny as Shrill but it's a weirdly satisfying science-fiction that gives Plum the world we all deserve.
Let's all live like Annie's roommate Fran and romance ourselves, be our own best lovers. We deserve it.
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There’s no shame in this game, no matter where you start out, as the ladies of the Bold Type TV show remind us.
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