Choose Your Own Trope Adventure

This is Confessions of a Closet Romantic, a podcast where I celebrate my favorite romantic TV shows, movies, books and talk in detail about why I love them so much. Without embarrassment or shame. Mostly! This is Poppy and in this episode, it's all about trope love: naughty, sexy, frothy, fun--it's a choose your own trope adventure.

Friendly warning this episode is going to be explicit. Plenty of swearing and lusty talk. 

Ok— just us here?

People of romance, if you've listened to this podcast before you know that this is a shame free, judgment free zone.

That includes any romantic trope that makes your heart sing, floats your boat, titillates you, makes you feel sexy, seen or supported. 

Tropes are just consistant plot structures that take you on a particular journey. They aren’t necessarily trite or stale though that can happen. At their best they' re the framework for imaginative stories that bring you to a certain, dependable conclusion.

Prepare--this is gonna be one big group hug of a show! I'm hugging you, and all of your favorite tropes right now...

Since I'm running the show, I vote for a quick revisit of this May/December, cougar romance scene, from Somethings Gotta Give. I can't get enough of it! How sexy is Keanu Reeves?!

[clip]

I've been DEVOURING a ton of contemporary romances lately. I'm not exaggerating — sometimes a book a day. Thanks, isolation! 

I know it’s not unusual for people who love romance, but this long cold pandemic winter—at least where I am in the world—is calling, no, yelling— for escape, for stories heavy on warm sensual people and  hot lurrvvv.

Romanic stories make me feel warm, optimistic and hopeful. As we know, if we want hot and erotic, we’ll need to read, or listen to romance audiobooks because straight up erotic romances don't often get adapted for movies or TV shows (the popularity of Outlander and now Bridgerton have hopefully opened eyes, and that gate). 

So the clips this episode come from the hottest romance audiobooks I've read lately. I’m going to need to read some some passages, because the book might be on fire, but the choice of narrator isn’t. I've noticed that people of romance are very particular about their romance audiobook narrators. They're practically in the bedroom with you during some scenes, so we're right to be particular.

[Audiobook clip]

Lots of romance tropes are fairly inoffensive to the casual fan: elaborate misunderstandings, enemies become friends, friends become lovers, people get a second chance at love, break ups and make ups … love is a mystery, blah blah...all this stuff can and does happen in real life, and in a fair amount of costume dramas and rom coms too.

[film clip]

Then there are the more  "custom"  tropes--scenarios or story lines that seem particular to certain authors of contemporary romances — of the past decade at least. The website TV tropes.org is full of these and it's a blast to read through the descriptions, written by contributors who’ve obviously has a lot of time to view pop  culture and parse through it —there are thousands, and if you fall into that website and don't come out for a week, please don't blame me.

I never saw scenes or themes like this when I started reading romance. I'm thinking kink and wild fantasies that are a blast to try on in story form—like visits to a BDSM club on the regular, surprise anonymous three ways,  or crazy hot sex with a part-human/part-animal fantasy creature with..unusual but useful body parts, or romancing a vampire who’s trying to tamp down their blood lust for you or…

We don't have to live these lives, but it's so much fun to feel what these relationship-scenarios might be like, risk-free.

[audiobook clip]

 Some tropes and stories can be healing. if you haven't had healthy relationships modeled while growing up,  you can experience them in fiction, and start to recognize  what they should look like. 

If you grew up in an emotionally maladjusted family, like me, you often can’t recognize or even feel worthy of non-critical, accepting relationships. Seeing them play out on page can be so comforting. 

[audiobook clip]

You know what--until you find healthy relationships, read about them and fake it 'till you make it. Group hug!

I’m guessing I might be able to tolerate more "misbehavior" in book relationships because of my screwy childhood, but I also absorb a lot of positivity and good role models from  romances.  with their consent language, characters who honor their partner, who love and accept them for who they are—however their body looks, however their mind works, however smart they are, experienced they are, however they like sex…

 Tropes can be cathartic, help us work through issues, help us identify issues, allow a safe peek into a different world.

I'm thinking of romances that feature dominant and often controlling alpha males like motorcycle romances or alpha men in law-enforcement or professional sports. I talked about these recently and how much I love them. 

Most are written by women, so they’re the best combination of charismatic partners who show they care by being a bit bossy, but also have some "give,” aren't afraid to compromise. they’re thoughtful and considerate and actually turned on when they meet someone who’s confident in themselves and demands respect.

[audiobook clip]

 Depending on your background and experiences, some tropes might feel unappealing or even threatening. It’s perfectly legitimate and acceptable.

I grew up with bossy, somewhat controlling people like this, so it's not that I accept that's the way things should be, but how these characters express caring and concern feels familiar and relatable to me, even if it seems overbearing or borderline abusive to others. That's why I think not "yukking on others’ yums" is so important to remember.

Fantasies are appealing because they present extremes in a safe setting. 99.9% of time  you're in good hands—romance writers make sure there’s an authentic and healthy happy ever after for every character, full of mutual respect.

 I will defend to the end the right of romance writers, viewers or readers to create and enjoy the stories that make sense and appeal to them. 

And if they don't appeal, there’s a ton to read and watch, so you can always find something that makes you feel good.

It's all okay. It's okay to pass on certain romances, to abandon them if they bother you. It’s also totally okay, obviously to embrace what makes  YOU feel good, and enter into these fantasy worlds with full awareness once in a while.

 It's okay if a trope or story turns you on in fiction but not in real life!  What happens in romance stays in romance.

Most friends in romance are accepting and tolerant, but once and a while you find someone shaming a romance fan online for not being "woke enough" because they like a certain trope. 

You know that I'm not okay with that. Refusing to be shamed for what I like is the reason I started this podcast (listen to my first episode, Goodbye Romance Shame, for more on that). 

So friends of romance, I want you to know I support your romance choices, wherever they take you. Do you and have fun! It’s just a story. If you get something useful out of what you read and watch, even better. Those are the only rules I’ll agree to follow, and I hope that's true for you, too.

So considering what I've been reading lately, it's time to practice non- judgment on myself! Because just thinking about a bored librarian looking at my checked-out book list...weeelll....

If you enjoy this podcast, I hope you’ll consider clicking share from your podcast app, or following me, or telling a romance-loving friend about it.

Find Show notes with links to what I've been babbling about at  confessionsofaclosetromantic.com 

Special shoutout to my listeners in New Zealand and Japan…Oh, I’d love to visit your beautiful countries one day! It's so nice to have your company…until next time, wishing you every shame-free romance trope your heart desires.